Do what you love, they said.

So, today I read a blog about how this man wasted 46 years of his life not doing what he wanted to do and became so work focused he forgot everything else, his wife, kid and even missing his dads funeral. This has spurred some random ramblings.

All these things have been circling round in my head pretty much 24/7 recently which I'd like to get off my chest and I thought, why not start a blog!? I have been typing for 3 hours so excuse me if I contradict or this is just a complete and utter mess! I doubt anyone will read this but if you are then.. Hi.. I guess?!

These days, there is so much pressure into choosing your career path at such a young age. Who knows what they want to do when they leave school? I certainly had no clue. At 16, you're in the midst of rash decisions based around your life choices at the current time. Most kids go to college with a complete mindset of what they want to do, and the majority of others go because it seems 'cool' or go because their friends have gone. I took Beauty Therapy..

So you look at me and think.. 'What the hell, she doesn't look like the sort of girl to do Beauty' and the answer is No, I'm probably not. College was nothing like I'd expected it to be (laid back, teachers didn't care, you could do what you want) I was far from wrong..

At the time of starting, I was strongly into the music scene and was constantly trying to find a decent friendship group who didn't judge me for my features or what I wore/listened to and to be quite honest all but 2 or 3 weren't. I constantly left my lessons early to go to gigs in London or not go in at all, purely for the reason I was so scared about taking my make-up off for facials, that's when I fell behind on work. 

My heart wasn't in this as much as it should have been because I just felt like my youth was so much more important than getting a qualification for something that I actually turned out to be half good at. But being laid back and too generous led to me being THE LAST person in my whole college year to pass the course! The assessments I needed for my own portfolio, I would end up swapping with someone else because they were begging me or because they got my tutor to force me into doing it, or else I'd have to explain to my client why I couldn't do the treatment that they had paid for. 
Little did I know, trying to be everybody's friend did not work out in my favour, but it did teach me a valuable lesson. 

So, the reason I took Beauty was because I liked making people feel good about themselves. Having a shit time throughout school, getting bullied for what I wore, having a mole on my face (ridiculous I know) how I used to flick my eye liner, battling depression and gaining weight, I thought why not pursue a career path where I can make at least 1 person feel good, look better or just have a better day. That is one rewarding thing I got out of it! After eventually passing the course, and after all the pettiness it took to get there, I gave up with education and took up more hours at my little part-time job at Sainsbury's.

The 2 and a half years that I worked there were some of the best and testing times of my life. When I first started I was young, naive and pretty scatty in all honesty. It was a lot to learn and take in all at once. I was constantly asking questions and struggling to remember things because I was just so focused on making friends. ''You'll meet your real friends when you start work'' My mum used to say. I had a lot of growing up to do. I think people perceived my way of making friends to be too confident.. When for anyone who knows me, I am deep down the most insecure person. Taking banter too far, making a joke out of everything and having a nervous laugh was just to hide my insecurities which didn't make me anybody's biggest fan.
After growing up, seeing people come and go, taking on responsibilities and letting people get to know what was behind this giggly exterior, I gained peoples trust and they gained mine. I became fairly good at what I did and have made some life long friends who I will always cherish and stay in touch with forever! Suppose my mum was right - you really do make your real friends at work! 

Eventually, I knew I had to move on to get a full time job and start earning more money as there were things I wanted to do:

Go on Holidays, buy nice clothes, go to festivals, learn to drive, Get a car, move out and figure it out from there in high hopes to be happy.

From the transmission from my old to new job, something quite serious happened, which was scary and led me to think that I could never trust anyone ever again. But now, in a weird way I am glad it happened as without that I wouldn't be where I am today.

Not long after starting, I met Jack. We had always talked on and off for 2 years and I never dreamed of him wanting to associate with anyone like me! He quickly stole my heart and surprisingly enough, this soon escalated into a relationship. 

Soon, my fears of not wanting to let anyone close enough to hurt me would disappear completely. I would dedicate my weekends to go and visit him at Uni and quickly become the happiest person I have ever been. He made me forget everything bad that had ever happened in my week. 

We have been on so many exciting adventures and have so many more to come. Obviously, there were some bumps in the road, just like any couple but we now understand each other a lot more and have come out on the better side of everything. I love his genuine passion for music (not to mention how amazing he is at it!) but that is enough for me to want to help him get his dream job and settle into a happy lifestyle before I move on and progress to bigger and better things. He is my best friend, my rock, and supports me through absolutely everything which I am eternally grateful for. That is the best gift anyone can ever have. 

So, who needs a career to make you happy? 
If you have people that are always there, know and love you and you can share amazing, memorable moments with then your dream job is a bonus. 

I genuinely do believe that you only live once, so why waste your time on what you think you could of had if you already have what you need. We all make mistakes, good/bad choices but that's just one thing that makes us who we are today. Eventually, you will naturally be the missing piece part to some kind of equation. It's not what you know, it's who you know!